Rants for the day

Dear Friendly Guy at the gym,
I am really grateful to you for having rescued my mobile when it fell off from the top of the treadmill. You were really sweet then, but talking to me when I am jogging at a speed of 8 kph is not a smart thing to do.
You see, all I can do at that time is make a series of grunts, each of which needs to be interpreted by an expert linguist who understands the language of Piggywiggyland of which I happen to be the President. So please do not ask me to repeat myself just because you thought you heard gibberish.
And do not, I repeat, do not ever complain of how you are able to maintain a constant pace of 10 kph only for ten minutes. With my average holding time of one minute at a speed of 8 kph, the last thing I need to know is how badly you are doing and yet are a million times better than me. I tackle the treadmill dreaming that I am an athelete under training, and for you to so rudely awaken me from that blissful state is nothing short of murder.
The next time you see me running in one place, please do not stop to ask me which college I am studying in/where I am from/if I know Hindi/if I like to party!!
I am in the midst of rediscovering my true self (having started to read increasingly inspiring books such as Mills and Boon which take up my entire spare time and my reducing brain power) and do not have the time to answer questions that ask me about myself.
But please do continue the good work, you can catch my mobile phone anytime it falls down, as I said, you still have my gratitude for that, and that is a commodity that is right now well established with many such good samartians!!