Chasing the echoes of the past

I am tempted at times

To look back at the path I have walked

As distant echoes call out to me

I see ghosts whose footsteps haunt me

So many versions of me

Each discarded as I tried

So hard to move on

A clay mask on me now

Hardened by the fire I slept by

With cracks on it as it begins to crackle

Turning to dust in the blaze

I am tempted at times

To turn and reach out

To catch memories

To maybe call out to former companions

And remind them that I had for a little while watched them

But no, move on now,

For those companions are now royalty

And I am nothing more than a whisper of the wind

Trying to see if I can reach the hem of the prosperous robe they adorne

The past is leaking out

I wait for forgetfulness

And a deep slumber.

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Note

I burnt out, I panicked and I suffocated

I locked myself and threw the key out

For the world was a frightening place

But I frightened myself more

As I noticed myself waiting

For any hand to reach out

For a voice to instill calm

For an arm to hold my fall

I fell

I broke

I felt my world shatter as I looked up

And saw the depths to which I had fallen

And then started clawing my way back

There is no safety net

 

Pushing Myself

I pushed myself today

And adrenaline gushed through my veins

I felt myself stretched and waited for the inevitable break

I looked around and could see through my hands

Stretched paper thin;

I panicked as I realised

That the pulse of my heart

Was out of tune with my breath;

My heart beats built to a crescendo that deafened me;

I saw the world tilt and felt my feet slip;

I clawed and scratched trying to get a grip

And realised that there was no friction to be felt anywhere;

And so I pushed myself more

Felt the air around me shatter

And was reborn, stronger.